Score one for the coconut

Compared to the dead crab my dad and I tried to bring home from a Florida beach as a souvenir when I was six, a couple of coconuts don't seem like all that bad of a gift. Sydney was certainly excited to receive the present from my snow-bird parents when they returned from their winter home in Florida.

I didn't mind all that much either. Coconuts, after all, don't leave a lasting stench in the trunk of your car the way a dead crab does. And they take up a lot less room than the massive palm frond that showed up in my garage last year.

And really, I didn't think we'd ever actually do anything with the coconuts, other than let them clutter up the kitchen counter for a few weeks. After all, AJ had experienced a coconut once, and let's just say his feedback was less than positive. I figured he'd warn Sydney about the nasty taste of coconut milk, and that'd be the end of it. Sydney still thinks her brother is infinitely wise.

But alas, AJ was unable to dampen her enthusiasm, and so after several days of her asking, I finally caved in and attempted to break into the coconut.

My dad had tried explaining how he'd seen work crews in their Florida neighborhood hack open the fruit with relative ease. But I admit, since I didn't think I'd actually be opening one, I wasn't really listening all that closely. I did recall hearing him use the word machete, and so I grabbed a knife and started hacking.

And it actually felt kind of a good. For context, we did this last Thursday evening, shortly after returning from the music concert I'd found out about on extremely short notice. And so chopping at the coconut was sort of therapeutic.

Even AJ grew curious to see what we might find inside.

What we found was a very hard, hollow interior with absolutely no milk inside. But considering I wasn't smart enough to shake the coconut to listen for liquid in the first place, I certainly didn't take this as a sign that the coconut was dried up. No. I continued hacking at it.

In the game of rock, paper, scissors; rocks beat scissors because they can crush the metal blades. Perhaps I should have remembered that before wielding my nice Pampered Chef butcher knife like a machete.

Suddenly there was a new noise, like metal hitting rock. I stared in horror at the massive chip that now appeared in the knife blade. Thank goodness for lifetime warranties!

We still have one more coconut sitting on the counter. I've shaken it and can hear liquid inside. I'm trying to decide if it's worth a second attempt. Right now the score stands at:

Butcher knife: 0

Coconut: 1

I'm not sure I'm ready to risk going 0 for 2.

Celebrating Moms... and cousins

Another from the "old news, but the photos are too good not to share" category...

Mother's Day was last Sunday. Less than a week ago, but it seems much longer. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the number of times I've yelled "Enough!" to quiet my two perfect children who love to antagonize each other.

But back to last Sunday, when the sun was shining and everyone was smiling. Here's Grandma Elouise with her brood. I think she had just volunteered to babysit the youngest four. Or maybe not.

The kids were very excited to visit Grandpa David and Grandma Elouise (and Dudley, too, though he wasn't allowed to come to the restaurant where we'd all gone for lunch), who had finally ventured back north after a winter in Florida.

Hugs for cousin Zane when it was time to leave...

Earlier, we'd gathered for lunch and gift/card openings. Zane was happy to help Grandma shred the wrapping paper.

AJ, meanwhile, was thrilled to escape the confines of the corner booth, crawling under the table to play with cousin Finn...

... who was totally fascinated by his bigger cousin Jonathon.

AJ wasn't the only one playing musical chairs. Zane shifted over to check out Sydney's Squinkies toy. I still don't understand the appeal for kids of these mini rubber figurines and clear plastic. What appeals to me is that they're relatively inexpensive and keep them busy for a long time.

Funny how Mothers Day still ends up being about the kids. Probably because they're cuter.

Do the hustle

Just a heads up... this blog post is about AJ's spring music program.

You now have received roughly the same amount of notice I did that AJ had something going on Thursday night.

Jeff called me yesterday a little before 5 p.m. as he was heading to work and I was preparing to leave my office. "Does AJ have a program tonight or something?"

"Not that I'm aware of. Why?"

One of his colleagues who lives in the same district mentioned a music program.

"His kids are a little older. Must be for the older grades," I confidently replied.

This was our one night all week with nothing on the calendar. I'd even commented about that to someone at work earlier in the day. No hockey for AJ. That had been Monday. No end-of-year picnics for Sydney. That was Tuesday. No dance for Sydney or baseball practice for AJ. Both of those had been Wednesday. And there's another dance class for Sydney tonight.

But there was nothing going on Thursday evening. Nothing to do but go home and get caught up on homework and housework after a way-too-busy week.

Fast forward 50 minutes. I'd survived the road construction-filled commute on I-35 and made it to pick up the kids from their after-school program. It was then (5:50 p.m) that AJ said, "Mom, I have to be in Mrs. Baird's room at 6:15 for my program. And I need to wear a bright shirt." He then pointed to the dark blue and red Twins shirt he was wearing. "Is this bright?"

How did I miss any announcement of this?!?

I turned to the Cool Kids staff person. "Do you know if the kids have a program tonight?"

"Yeah," she confirmed. "6:30 in the gym."

As I hustled the kids out the door, we passed another mom I know. She had come prepared and was armed with brightly colored shirts for her boys so they could go straight to the program. She offered to share a shirt because she had a spare. How nice. Could I feel any more inept?

On the way out of the building, we happened to pass AJ's teacher who was on her way in. I quickly explained my surprise and assured her we would be coming, though maybe a few minutes late.

During the short drive home, AJ asked if he could borrow Jeff's Magnum P.I. curly wig (an old Halloween costume) because "that's kind of disco."

"What does disco have to do with anything?" I asked.

"We can dress like disco," AJ answered.

"I thought you were supposed to wear bright colors."

"Or disco."

At that point I called my friend Crystal who confirmed the program had a disco theme, but otherwise bright colored clothes would be fine. Great. Just great.

In the house we went. I helped AJ find a shirt, grabbed a couple snacks for the kids, left for poor Gus still in his kennel, and headed right back out the door. We made it back to school with a couple minutes to spare. I dropped AJ in his room, and Sydney and I made our way to the gym, finding a spot to sit on the bleachers.

The kindergartners came in first singing and dancing (mostly dancing, not much singing) to "The Hustle". The woman sitting in front of me turned and smiled, "Wouldn't it be funny if some of the parents stood up and started doing the hustle."

I already did my version of the hustle, thank you very much. We wouldn't have made it otherwise.

Next up came the first graders. Here's AJ pretending to be John Travolta while waiting for the other classes to file in.

AJ told me later that it was a big deal to be able to stand on the top row of the risers. The music teacher figured out that all the kids wanted to stand in back, so she used that as an incentive. The best class got to be in the back row, and AJ's class won! Oh boy!

I feel horrible for saying this. And if this blogging website would let me upload a :30 second video clip I wouldn't have to because you'd be able to draw your own conclusion. But this was possibly the worst theme ever for an elementary choir concert. Sure the music was fun and the kids liked the dorky dance moves. But it was, in a word, awful. Call me grumpy, but first graders cannot hit the high notes of Funkytown. And the older grades similarly mutilated a whole range of songs from the era that should have remained bygone. If I wanted to hear singing like this, I would head to a karaoke bar, because at least there I could numb my nerves with alcohol.

Yes, definitely grumpy.

AJ's class finished their second song, Good Times, which we were not having. AJ apparently felt it appropriate to blow kisses to the crowd as thanks for their applause.

Next came the second graders, singing Kool and the Gangs' Celebration. I remember singing that song on the school bus when I was just a few years past second grade. Great! Now I'm OLD and grumpy.

The show continued with kids singing what I consider to be highly inappropriate lyrics for their age. Sydney grew ever more restless. My butt grew ever more sore from sitting on the wooden bleachers. And the person near me who badly needed deodorant grew ever more annoying.

At last it was time for the grand finale. The song when all the kids file back in to the gym and sing together. It's the music teachers' way to hold us all hostage until the very end. It takes at least five minutes to squeeze them all in to the gym in some semblance of order. The song? "We are Family."

Just to give you a feel of the magical moment:

And that's only the front third of the gym.

Where's AJ? If you click on the above picture to enlarge it, look near the doors on the right, straight down from the word "Attitudes", he's the blond in the red shirt.

Normally I love these music programs. It's fun to hear the kids. It's great to see all the families that come to watch. Next year, assuming I get more than 25 minutes advance notice, it should actually be easier to sit through the full show because Sydney will be singing, too. That means it'll be her teacher's job to keep her busy while the other grades are performing.

And so until next year, let's pack away the disco ball. Or maybe smash it to smithereens.

The big one

I was so proud of my kids this past weekend when we celebrated their cousin Finn's first birthday. Check out what you don't see in this picture as he opened his presents:

What don't you see? My kids! For the first time ever, they resisted the urge to pile in and "help" open gifts. Finn's big brother Zane was happy to step in and show how the toys work. As it should be. That's what big brothers are for, right?

AJ and Sydney weren't totally disinterested in the festivities. When the cake came out and it was time to sing, they crowded 'round the birthday boy.

Though it took some coaxing. Why? Because Uncle Eric and Aunt Sarah have a new storage container on their deck. Or is it a boat? Or a train car? So many possibilities!

Happy now-belated birthday Finn. It was fun to visit with you. I bet you'll be walking the next time we see you!

Celebrating at the Lake

Still playing catch up with stories and pictures from last week...

Sydney's graduation from preschool coincided nicely with a sunny and gorgeous 70+ degree day. More accurately, the afternoon I took off from work to go to Sydney's preschool program coincided nicely with a sunny and gorgeous 70+ degree day. And so to celebrate, when the school day was done, I took the kids to the Lake to play tourist for an afternoon.

They played the part perfectly.

Feeding popcorn to seagulls. Slurping on slushies. Shivering because we didn't bring jackets and the temperature was at least 10 degrees cooler than it'd been at home thanks to a breeze off the lake. Oh yeah, you'd never guess we're from around here and should know better.

We stayed warm by keeping moving. And climbing. The kids amazed me by asking to walk the full length of the pier. They wanted to climb the steps to the light house. And of course they had to climb on the anchors and other maritime artifacts displayed along the Lakewalk.

Who's excited to be done with preschool? Sydney raised her hand and shouted, "Me! Me! Me!"

Farther down the Lakewalk, we ventured off the path to search for fossils and throw rocks into the Lake.

 

How lucky we are to live so close to three quadrillion gallons of fresh water. How much luckier we would be if I could just remember to grab jackets when we see all that water up close.

The next stage is kindergarten

This is a way overdue post, delayed by either my (lack of) internet speed, or blogger's inability to accept video of a certain file size. I had the best of intentions of sharing video from Sydney's end-of-year preschool program, but it's just not working. And so you'll have to settle for some of the still photos I snapped in between songs.

Last Thursday was Sydney's final day of preschool. It was a very exciting day, made even more thrilling when she learned that all the songs they'd been practicing would be performed not on the stage in the lunchroom, but "in the feater where AJ got to do his show!" (She meant theater. How ironic that I once had to take speech classes for a lisp, and now have a child who can't make a 'th' sound.)

Here she is warming up for a song that had the kids attempting to move impossible to move body parts like the chin.

The kids partnered up for one of the songs. This picture is adorable now, but may prove priceless one day should Sydney and Patrick remain close.

Sydney has talked all year about her friend Patrick. She introduced me to him a few weeks ago when I came to her class to read. But I never paid attention to his last name. It turns out he's our neighbor and his mom, Annette, once made an appearance on my blog. (Coincidentally in connection with another stage performance.)

Sydney wasn't sure of a lot of the words in the songs, none of the kids were. But she loved making the corresponding gestures, and she sure remembered to stand on the spot on the stage where here name was marked. Several times I saw her look down and then take an obvious step to position herself correctly. She also helped Patrick find his spot on more than one occasion. Whether he wanted her to or not.

At the end of the show, the kids each presented a gift to their parents – a picture of themselves with a magnet attached – as a thank you for signing them up for preschool.

Next, the teachers played a slideshow of photos from throughout the year. It was very sweet, and I'm pretty sure the goal was to bring tears to everyone's eyes. They like to do that sentimental kind of stuff. They also gave us a binder of projects she'd worked on throughout the year, showing what she's learned and how she's progressed. A side note: according to one of the notes, Sydney grew an inch and a half since the first day of class back in October.

The kids didn't receive diplomas. Instead they got something much more exciting when we returned to the classroom: root beer floats.

Now comes the hard part. Waiting almost four months for kindergarten to start.

Motherhood

A blog I like, "The Mouthy Housewives" recently asked a bunch of bloggers to describe motherhood in six words. (No, I wasn't one of the bloggers asked to participate, but I won't hold it against them.) 

It got me thinking. How do you sum up such a life-changing, life-fulfilling role? My sweet yet realistic answer would be: Exhausting, exhilarating and totally worth it.

But after spending all day Mother's Day with my two little darlings, I couldn't help but come up with a different set of six words: Often wishing for a mute button.

Because of Jeff's work schedule, our weekend involved me going solo with the kids on a trip to the Twin Cities (I'll write more about that another day) to visit my family. We finally made it home around 4:30 p.m., reunited with the man who helped make me a mother and later went out to dinner to celebrate "my" special day.

The kids, after a 2.5 hour car ride, were, to say the least, not calm. AJ managed to hit his head on the back of the booth not once, but twice. Slow learner. Sydney, meanwhile, appeared to be practicing her dance recital routine while seated, flailing her arms and legs beyond our booth's boundaries at inopportune times, once nearly taking out the kneecap of a waitress carrying a large platter.

Did I mention this restaurant recently added fajitas to its menu? Clearly it should have added a new ventilation system first because the two times servers came out with a sizzling plate, the smoke filled the air, making my children hold their noses and complain of the smell.

In other words, it was an all-around wonderful, relaxing experience. Or at least a typical one.

At the end of the meal, our server decided to make small talk with the kids. He asked them if they'd had a nice Mother's Day. (I note he didn't ask me that question. I wonder if my body language gave me away.)

AJ: Pretty much. We went to church and then we drove back from the Cities.

Server: You went to the Cities?

AJ: Yeah, and we drove and drove, and then Sydney had to go to the bathroom and we stopped and got some snacks and then the Twins won!

Server: The Twins won? What was the score?

Sydney: can I tell him something?

AJ: 4-3.

Server: Who'd they beat?

AJ: The Blue Jays. My teacher's married to someone from Canada.

Sydney: Can I tell him something? We gave Mommy flowers.

Aaahhhh... Motherhood: Flowers and all that goes with it. Whoops. I guess that was seven words.