They're trying to kill us

In their defense, we did cram 65 pounds of kids, 75 pounds of dog and a slew of toys (that were supposed to entertain them) into the back seat of a car for a two-and-a-half hour road trip home from the Cities. And they did well in the beginning.

Sydney fell asleep fairly quickly, and AJ was content to watch a DVD. Translation: Mommy had an opportunity to nap during the drive. Except AJ repeatedly managed to bump the pause button on the DVD player, which meant he repeatedly needed me to "make it work" again. Translation: Mommy really didn't get to nap at all.

Maggie, meanwhile, was feeling particularly insecure for some reason, and so decided to sit as absolutely close as possible to AJ, which prompted more whining, "Maggie's in my way!"

We were able to cajole Maggie several times to shift over enough to give AJ more room (and an unobstructed view of his DVD player.) But finally Jeff had it, ordering AJ to "just deal with it."

Trying to help AJ, I again tried to get Maggie to move over. I needn't have bothered. AJ's method of dealing with it was to shift 180 degrees. He announced, "It's okay. We're cuddling."

Did I mention that Sydney had awakened by this point and was practicing her various pronunciations of the word, "No"?

Finally, mercifully, we made it home. We brought the kids inside the house and began unpacking, looking forward to some relative quiet. That's when Sydney found her latest favorite toy: a red gorilla that dances and sings, "Rollercoaster" when you squeeze its foot. It was at this point that Jeff concluded, "They're trying to kill us."