So maybe I will cry on the first day of school.
I didn't think I would. I've always thought it a bit strange when my mom friends talked about the tears they shed as they walked their child to the bus or classroom. Think of what you're saving in daycare, for goodness sake. This is a great, great day!
Now I'm not so sure.
I took AJ "to-school" shopping on Sunday. (Since it's his first year, I'm dropping the "back" from back-to-school.)
He was quite excited to get two pairs of shoes. One for everyday and the other for gym. I was very happy to see that his top priority was how fast they are. (I remember doing that with my sister at the Brookdale JCPenney.) He took off across the aisle for a short test run.
Something else to note about these shoes: they have laces. No velcro. Guess what we'll be working on the next few weeks.
After that it was off to the chaos of the school supply aisles. It amazes me how non-logically this stuff is merchandized. I'm sure there's been some study that says people will buy more stuff if they have to look harder to find a box of #2 pencils. It was ridiculous.
It was as we gathered the crayons and markers and notebooks and 1.5" 3-ring binders (which also are a challenge to find) that it hit me that I have to let go a lit bit more of my baby. This isn't daycare where I call the shots on the schedule. This isn't about me and Jeff anymore and trying to find a place for AJ while we're at work.
This is now about AJ. He is embarking on a journey where I'm not as much in control. He will learn things from teachers that I probably don't know. He will learn things from kids that I don't want him to know. He will get bigger and more independent.
And I have to learn to let go.
I'm getting teary-eyed just writing this. Yeah - I'm probably going to cry on Sept. 9.
This is just the beginning. I don't think I ever cried when you three went off to grade school - remember our whole lives were based around "school" with your dad being a teacher. But wait until you bring your youngest to college the first time and drive away knowing he'll be 3 hours from home. Or one of your kids moves 2 1/2 hours away from home for their first job. Or one of them is driving back up north in a blizzard, and you hear that the interstates are being closed down - later you find out that the 2 1/2 hour trip took about 5 hours. And on and on.
ReplyDeleteYes, this is just the BEGINNING. One of the biggest parts of parenting is teaching your children to be independent for their adult lives, and that means YOU learning to let go little by little. (Now is when you hope you've given them the necessary training so they make good decisions when you're not around.) It's not easy to learn to let go. (And we never had you kids in day care so we could "practice" letting go .... because I was the day care lady.... and we rarely had babysitters, either .
Just remember, right now AJ will basically be "just down the street from home". After a couple of days you'll be thinking about "what's next?"
I did have to laugh about the shoes with laces. Remember when 4 year old Eric taught 5 year old Debbie Dols to tie her shoes so she could go to kindergarten?