Biting words

Have I shared yet the story of the super embarrassing playdate my children had a few weeks back? There's a new family that moved to our district over the summer, and by coincidence they have two kids who happen to be the same age and gender and in the same classes as my kids. They're all very nice, so it seems perfect that we become friends.

A few weeks ago, AJ and Sydney were invited over for a playdate at their house. We worked it all out - Jeff brought the kids over after school and I would pick them up on my way home from work. When I got there, the kids all seemed to be having fun, and Sarah (the mom) said they'd all behaved themselves.

Seems perfect, right? It was. Until - as I stood talking with Sarah - Sydney decided for some odd reason to suddenly bite her brother.

You read that right.

Sydney, who never bit anyone as a toddler or preschooler, chose that moment to sink her teeth into her brother's arm.

AJ let out a shriek. Sydney started sobbing. And I could only stare in horror.

How do you respond - in front of another parent you don't know all that well - when your five-year-old suddenly reverts back to a very bad behavior she should have outgrown three years earlier?

I think (the memory is a blur I'm trying to repress) I quickly separated them and then loudly/sternly questioned Sydney, "What were you thinking?!?"

What I do remember all to clearly is what Sydney did next. She threw herself across their couch and wailed, "I'M A BAD GIRL!"

Because I wasn't already embarrassed enough.

On the drive home, I warned her that if she ever bit anyone ever again, I would stick a bar of soap in her mouth. That started a whole new round of tears as she pleaded with me not to do that. Pointing out the logical solution of "Don't bite anyone and you've got nothing to worry about," did nothing to calm her down.

So why am I finally telling this story now?

Because Sydney woke up one morning this week looking very upset. I asked her if she'd had a bad dream. No, she solemnly shook her head. She then buried her face in her hands and started to sob, "I
bit Caitlin's hair."

I think Caitlin is a girl in her class. It's no one I really know.

"Why would you bite her hair?" I asked.

Sydney couldn't answer, she was crying too hard.

"Did you try to bite her hair?" I asked, "or did it just blow in your mouth?"

Sydney continued to cry. "It was an accident."

"Did you say 'sorry'?"

"No, (deep gulping breath) I forgot."

"Does Caitlin even know that you bit her hair?"

"No."

"Then don't worry about it. Accidents happen. As long as you didn't do it on purpose, you're not in trouble. I'm proud of you for telling me."

At last Sydney got up. We finished getting her dressed and she headed to the kitchen to eat breakfast. But clearly she wasn't ready to give up on the topic.

"Mom?" She asked, "can I bite robbers?

"What?" I assumed I hadn't heard her correctly.

"Is it okay to bite robbers?"

"No, you shouldn't bite robbers. You should call 9-1-1 if you see a robber."

"But we don't need to call 9-1-1 because we've got big daddy."

I don't even know how to end this story, other than to say I hope this is the end of the story. I'm picturing my daughter becoming a vigilante biter. She'll be hailed as a hero for bringing down bad guys with her teeth. And then some reporter will ask her why she does it, and she'll answer, "well, I really wanted to bite someone and figured the only way I could get away with it without having a bar of soap stuck in my mouth was to bit someone really bad."

Let's hope there are no new developments to this story. And I am happy to report that Sydney's behavior didn't scare off the new family. They still seem interested in being friends.