Like every parent in America, like any parent anywhere who has heard the news of what happened yesterday at an elementary school in Connecticut, my heart is breaking. I could not wait to hug my children and tell them again how much I love them and am thankful for them.
To imagine what those poor children saw and heard and experienced, the fear and shock the survivors must still feel and will have to deal with... I cannot stop the tears. The agonizing horror of the parents waiting for word - who then learned the worst possible news, and then couldn't gather their baby in their arms even one last time. My tears have started again.
Contrast that pain with the wonder and enthusiasm I got to share with my elementary students yesterday.
The kindergarten class performed Twelve bells for Santa. This is what young children should be thinking about right now. Christmas and Santa and the presents they soon will receive. They should be this innocent. They should be this excited and charming (even out of tune).
Sydney doesn't know why Mommy suddenly wanted nothing more than to play with her all afternoon and evening. But she seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. Making cookies for Santa - that's what young children should be doing right now.
She frosted each one with care, and fretted when she accidentally pushed too hard and broke one in half. When I showed her how the frosting would hold the broken pieces together, she giggled with delight and then moved on to burying each in sprinkles.
And then she made me fight back tears because she started talking about her upcoming Sunday School Christmas program and how excited she is to be an angel. And all I could think of is the 20 little angels who will never again sing for their families here on earth.
So much innocence lost. Among those who were killed. Among those who survived whose lives have been changed forever. Someday that school building will be cleaned, repaired and re-opened. If I were a parent there, I don't think I could ever let my child go again.
Moving forward, I know there will be endless debate about gun control, and how people could not see warning signs that the killer could commit such evil. People will look for lessons to make sure this doesn't happen again. I, meanwhile, have already learned my lesson. And that is to savor every moment with my children. Nothing is more important than reading with them at bedtime, followed by talking and snuggling after the lights had been turned off. I usually do that, but on Thursday night I didn't. I was working on Christmas cards and some work I had brought home with me. How thankful I am to have had Friday night with my children. And will have Saturday night. And every night in the future that I will not take for granted.
May we all hug and love and listen a little more. The extra attention we give to our kids - hopefully they won't know why, they'll just know they appreciate it. Because happy times with family - that is what young people should be thinking about.
For 36 hours, as grandparents and, of course, older parents, we have ranged between anger, sadness, tears, etc., etc., etc. How can anyone be so cruel to kill sweet innocent children? Killing adults is horrible, but to kill sweet innocent children is just unimaginable. 20 FIRST graders!!! Our tears flow easily as we see the many images on the TV. Two of our 7 grandkids are so close to this age!!! Then just now there was a father on TV telling about his little 6 year old daughter named Emily. Several photos of this sweet, blue eyed, blond little girl flashed across the screen. 6 years old and the oldest of three little girls. I can't help but think about Christmas, birthdays, a little girl who will never be more than 6 years old. One of 20 innocent little kids. And then, we thought about 11 years from now when this group of kids should be seniors in high school getting ready to graduate in a few months. It sounds like half of that class is gone. How will the remaining children of that class make it through the next several years of school without nightmares, feeling guilty that they are alive. Will any one ever be able to forget about this horrible day, December 14, 2012? I don't see how. So many lives have been and will continue to be changed forever.
ReplyDeleteHug our grandkids for us.