The best laid plans...

All I really wanted was a free bike helmet for Sydney. And somehow the whole evening unraveled from there.

Each year, a local hospital partners with a couple of retailers to put on a bike safety clinic. Two years ago, we got AJ a helmet at this event, and so I wanted to get Sydney one, too. The event ran 4-7 p.m. My friend Jess suggested we meet at McDonald's afterward for dinner and a playdate. Sounds like a fun plan.

Problem one: Jeff had to work late. So I left work early, raced home to let Maggie out, picked up the kids and headed back into town.

Problem two: Highway 53 is all torn up. You can't turn into the Kohl's parking lot (where the event was being held) from the normal spot. No problem I figured, I'll drive to the next intersection and turn onto the service road. Wrong. That intersection was torn up too, as was the next one. Finally, by Walgreens, several miles away, I was able to turn onto a service road and back track to Kohl's.

Problem three: It was 6 p.m. when we pulled into the lot, and they're all out of helmets. AJ somehow had translated "we're getting a new helmet for Sydney" to mean, "I'm going to get a new batman helmet." What??? He started crying in the back seat as we headed to McDonald's, weaving our way back along the service road to the point where we could finally turn on to the main road.

Problem four: Just as we're turning onto the main road, my phone rings. It's Jess. Her napless girls are not behaving. They're heading home. Perfect. Can this night get any better?

Dinner actually went fairly smoothly, though Sydney managed to fall off a chair in Playland and hit her head. And they ran out of the current Happy Meal toy. Not a big deal, because they substituted leftover toys from past promotions... except we got the little primate guy from Kung Fu Panda. We already have this toy, and he's quite possibly the most annoying Happy Meal toy ever created. The slightest tap sets him off singing/chanting, "I like to move it move it. I like to move it move it..." So as we were leaving, I asked if we could exchange him. Be careful what you wish for. We now have the Kung Fu Panda, who shrieks, "Wa-ha! Ska-douche."

On to Sam's Club we went, with "Wa-ha! Ska-douche" sounding over and over from the back seat until, tragically, AJ dropped the toy on the floor. Oh... too bad. The actual shopping trip went relatively smoothly until we got to the check-out line. "I have to go potty," AJ announced. Thankfully I hadn't started unloading the cart, so we headed to the bathrooms. AJ went in by himself and returned in a remarkably short period of time. I should have questioned that. I didn't. I'll never make that mistake again.

Problem five: The same engineering geniuses who thought it would be fun to block off three consecutive exits from 53, clearly decided that wouldn't be enough of an inconvenience, so they decided to tear up the parallel Maple Grove Road at the same time. What on earth? Carefully inching out of the Sam's Club parking lot, I made it onto the one lane wide, very unevenly paved road. We'd driven a couple minutes when AJ inquired, "Mommy, can you drive a little faster? I have to go potty real bad."

I'm trying to figure out if there's a moral to this story. I don't think I was being greedy in wanting a free helmet. I am happy to report that AJ made it home without having an accident. So maybe at least he learned something from the evening. But I doubt it.

Wa-ha! Ska-douche.