I probably should have been at least a little sympathetic, but when I got the call from Jeff, I couldn't help but think, "I leave him with the kids for 10 minutes, and what happens?"What happened, was Daddy got a taste of the chaos I endure on any given Friday when I venture out shopping with both kids.
Jeff was off on Friday, getting ready to go up to the armory for Guards by late afternoon. And so he went with me and the kids as we ran some errands. AJ needed his glasses fixed, and I wanted to get Sydney some new sheets and a comforter for her bed. So off to the mall we went.
We took the divide and conquer route upon arrival. Jeff headed with AJ to Lens Crafters, while Sydney and I tried to find the bedding department at Sears. It didn't take Sydney long to rule out the choices of Disney princesses and psychedelic flowers, announcing, "I want Dora." And so we headed out to meet back up with the guys.
I can't decide if the kind folks at Lens Crafters find AJ to be delightfully amusing, or if they draw straws when they see us approaching. We certainly visit them frequently enough. On this day, it was "Marc" who deserves the bonus pay for trying to straighten a pair of glasses, (and more specifically, for trying to check if he'd straighten them enough) on a child who couldn't stand still.
When Sydney and I arrived, AJ was busy telling Marc all about his recently wrapped up soccer season. Marc found it particularly amusing when AJ explained that "all the games are a tie. Because they don't want any of the kids to be sad." Then, out of the blue, AJ asked Marc, "Where's your boss?"
Marc was perhaps a little too cheerful in flagging over his supervisor. I suspect he was looking for someone to share in his pain, because he then asked AJ repeat the story about why his soccer games end in ties. Right about then, another employee walked by, ruffled AJ's hair and said, "I remember you!" Yes, this kid makes an impression.
This was, by no means, Jeff 's first experience with AJ getting his glasses straightened, but his expression through it all resembled a cross between amusement and shell shock.
Right outside the Lens Crafter store, because, I suspect, the mall gods hate us, is a bunch of coin operated rides. I decided to use this to my advantage and asked Jeff if he'd be okay watching the kids climb on the rides for a few minutes. This would allow me to quickly check out the other stores for Dora bedding. He was fine with this, so off I went.
JCPenney, which of course is on the opposite end of the mall, had nothing. It was as I was heading to Younkers that my cell phone rang.
"AJ had an accident. Can you pick up some new shorts?"
"Accident, as in, potty accident?"
"Yeah."
"So... he needs shorts and new underwear."
"Yeah."
"Are you by the bathrooms in the food court, or where should I find you?"
Jeff wasn't even pretending to be patient by this point, "We're already out in the car. Just hurry."
So AJ wet his pants and Jeff hustled the kids to the car... all in the time it took me to walk across the mall and check out the lack of bedding choices at JCPenney. I'm sorry. I just can't stop myself from smiling broadly when I picture how it all played out.
I did go to Younkers... just not to the bedding section. AJ was quite excited to see the dinosaur-print underwear I'd picked up. "You got these for me?" He asked.
I tried to explain that this wasn't the best time to be excited about new clothes. But then I caught sight of Jeff's face, and started laughing again. Not the best time for that either.
Sure glad I didn't have these kinds of problems when I did daycare, and shopped with 4-7 kids ages 6 months to 6 years. The final straw would have been the wet pants. I just might have let him sit in the wet shorts on a plastic bag until he got home. (In fact, I think I actually did that once.) As Grandpa David just said, he might remember next time.
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