The Gus report - age 11 weeks

It's been four weeks since Gus joined our family. Four weeks since I've been able to sleep past 6:28 a.m. Four weeks since I've been able to sneak out of the house for an early morning run before anyone else wakes up. This morning, the puppy alarm went off at 6:13. That's five minutes better than yesterday's wake-up whimpering, which started at 6:08.

Who, me?

His expression seems to say, "Eewww! This is one of my toys. Why would I want to chew on it when there are so many other toys to destroy?"

Many people have commented to me recently that having a puppy is like having a baby.

No. No, it really isn't.

With babies, you get six to 12 weeks of maternity leave to adjust to this adorable little being that has totally disrupted your lifestyle. With babies, you get sympathetic reminders to "sleep when the baby sleeps." Plus, babies don't start out mobile. And they don't start out with a full set of razor sharp teeth.

Getting a puppy is more like adopting a toddler in full throes of the "terrible twos" stage... A toddler from an alien culture (that doesn't speak your language) where the traditional greeting is to bite ankles... A toddler who, thankfully, loves peanut butter. Ahhh. Savor the blessed moments of peace and calm that comes when you smear a little Skippy inside the rubber Kong toy.

I'd like to say we've made remarkable progress with him this week, but really, we haven't. His sleep patterns have remained unchanged. The house training is about the same. We've had only one urine accident in two weeks. Too bad it was on our bed. Restricting when he eats, based on the vet's advice, has made no difference in the number of pooping accidents.

And the chewing never stops. Sydney's soft rubber Disney Princesses and their dresses get pried from his mouth quite frequently. AJ's little green army men are another favorite. The unfortunate troops have sustained considerable casualties in their battle against a now 17-pound weapon of mass destruction.

When he's not busy chewing on us, Gus does seem to show an appreciation for some of our bedtime snacks. Licking out ice cream bowls is a big hit. Another, is popcorn.

Last night, we introduced him to that fine puppy delicacy and boy did he enjoy it! It took a couple failed leaps onto the couch to teach him to wait on the floor. As long as the kernels kept flying, he could be very attentive.

Earlier in the evening a thunderstorm had dumped quite a bit of rain on us. Shortly after it ended, I had taken Gus into the back yard for another potty break. Standing in the wet grass, with mosquitoes finding my ankles as delightful as Gus does, I happened to look across the river. Suddenly I discovered something good about the potty training process. If it wasn't for Gus, I would have totally missed this amazing view.

There's always a bright side to everything.