Let me say this: Maggie is not making it easy for us to decide what to do. If she were acting lethargic or depressed, as the vet warned would likely happen, or if she developed an upset stomach and stopped eating, which can be a side effect of the pain medication we're giving her... if either of those things were the case, it'd be a lot easier to look her in the eye and say, "I'm sorry. I love you. We're doing this so you don't suffer."
But this is what she's been acting like ever since we started the pain medicine. She has a slight limp, but other than that, she's livelier than ever.
I trust my vet. He is a good man who loves animals and has been caring for my pets for more than 15 years. When I spoke to him on Tuesday, he told me that Maggie's form of cancer is one of the most painful conditions for a dog to endure. Basically the inside of her bone is being eaten away, and it's growing ever weaker. The merciful thing would be to either amputate the leg, or have her euthanized. Whichever option we choose should be done quickly so that Maggie doesn't suffer.
I understand all that, and absolutely don't want to see her suffer. But right now she doesn't appear to be suffering. I'm supposed to call the vet later today to see about adjusting the dosage of one of her medications. I need to find out how long we can continue giving her this medicine. Even if it buys us just a few more weeks to pamper and spoil and savor our "first child," it will be well worth it. It would also give us time to adjust to this horrible reality, because right now I can't look at my vibrant and alive pup and say "this is for your own good."
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